You may even subtly be pushing things in that direction. Your memories may haunt you, and make it difficult to find someone new.
If you did the dumping, the knowledge that this person — this new friend — would love to kiss you will always be in the back of your mind waiting for the right moment to lead you exactly where you don’t want to go. It’s easy to get mixed messages Friends do things for each other. But imagine the likelihood of this happening if you’re still seeing the person regularly.
This person knows that it is a bad idea, but controlling our emotions in this way takes a discipline that most folks can’t muster. “Would she really come over and cook me dinner if she didn’t love me and want to be with me? Keeping it all straight can be a full-time job, and a single misinterpretation could lead to the backslide. Hope springs eternal and you need to move on One of the worst things that can happen to your dating life is getting hung up on someone who doesn’t love you. Each new person that comes your way and expresses interest is swiftly blown off, because you are desperately hoping you can rekindle the flame with your ex.If you’ve ever been dumped, and agreed to “just be friends” you know deep down inside you still want to get back together. Each time you get together as friends you’re hoping and praying that you’ll end up in each other’s arms. It is very easy to get mixed signals in the midst of all this kindness, love, and support. In a situation where both people part ways and don’t see each other again this can be a problem.I know a guy who was told by his Miss Unavailable that it was just sex and fun but that it was only him that she’s seeing.Unfortunately he found out that she’s actually got about four guys on rotation and was very wounded.“Let’s stay friends” has become as much of an empty phrase as “let’s do something again soon! But what happens when you actually want to be friends – is it possible? Before you jump into friendship, ask yourself if you are doing it because you really just want to keep her in your life, or because you hope she’ll change her mind and want to date you? I went out with a guy last winter for a few dates and while we got along very well, it just, well, wasn’t there for me.
I’m not talking about staying friends with someone after a full-blown committed relationship. What I’m asking is: Can you “stay friends” with a girl with whom you tested the dating waters, but ultimately one of you decided you didn’t want to swim all the way to Relationship Island together and settle in a cabana for two? Yes, we had great conversation, but I wasn’t feeling the butterflies.
He knew that they weren’t in a relationship but insists that if he’d known he was one of four, he’d have stopped seeing her.
To be fair, he should have stopped seeing her when she didn’t want a relationship and he was falling in love.
So often times, either as a way to soften the blow or out of sincere feelings of warmth, we say, “But let’s stay friends.” From an intellectual level remaining friends may seem like a good idea. The ever present danger for these types of friendships is a backslide.
I like having her in my life, so we should stop being romantic and just keep the friend part.” If both individuals are emotionally mature, and completely lacking in romantic feelings for each other, then a jump straight to the friend zone might be possible. Mutual breakups are usually not mutual, and the breakee is holding on to some strong romantic desires.
It’s like I recently had a Mr Unavailable complain about this very type of situation blowing up in his face.