Not only would it be foolish, but downright selfish.While you do not have to commit to marrying this person right away, you should realize that any guy-girl relationship you begin has the potential to end in marriage. That is why it is important to consider some warning signs you will look for while dating someone. If you desire to have a marriage relationship built on Scripture, you will want to marry a man who will be a strong spiritual leader to you and your future family. Your spiritual maturity may result in frustration and leadership struggles if he is not as strong as you in his relationship with God. Ultimately, your spiritual condition is up to you and you alone.
The intentional man repeatedly and constantly goes first and takes on all of the risk of rejection.He always lets the girl know where he stands so she feels secure and isn’t left guessing.So stop looking for your future husband and look for a date instead. What makes up a good marriage, the type of joy-filled marriage that people see and think, “When I grow up I want a relationship that looks like that” are a couple of things. These two things are almost equally important — with commitment to Jesus edging out the other by a nose.I know I’m really blowing the lid off the whole “Only go on a date with a man you intend to marry” thing that’s popular in Christian circles, but stay with me. But there are plenty of non-Christians who also have great marriages, so clearly the mutual respect and enjoyment of your spouse is a pretty big deal.Yet there is this odd rumor going around that the only important characteristic to look for in a future husband is that he’s a believer. If that’s your only requirement, you could just pick one Russian Roulette-style from the enormous pool of Christian men.
You don’t want to do that, because being a Christian isn’t all that matters. Marrying someone who doesn’t understand you, wants totally different things out of life than you, or doesn’t share any interests with you is a recipe for at best, a very discordant marriage and at worst, a divorce.
This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. “Let’s just sit back and see what happens” might work in certain scenarios, but Christian dating isn’t one of them. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
Most importantly, guidelines and principles for dating will transform lives and shape eternities. The brokenness you see in yourself and the brokenness you experience from your spouse point both of you to the only perfect one, God. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target.
Dating with a trajectory towards marriage doesn’t mean you only date one person ever. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. The ultimate purpose of marriage is sanctification (becoming like God). If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp.
That would be awesome, but it’s not always realistic. If you are a Christian, God isn’t a piece of your pie. Why date someone who doesn’t even have God as a piece of the pie? Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling.
Most of us ladies have had our dream wedding and everything about it planned out since we were six — including the groom, the ring (a tasteful two-carat, emerald-cut diamond set in platinum, thank you!