This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.I'm working at a day camp this summer with guess who? Clearly, she does not own him but you do want to be both a sensitive and kind friend.
They believe this is something everybody knows, that they're just following the rules.
What I've noticed, though, is that every person I've heard espouse this worldview was straight.
She may share information that is important for you to know regarding this young man.
If your friend is not terribly upset about the break-up and has already moved on and re-grouped then the coast is clear for you to date the ex.
G., I am a 17-year-old girl and I'm going into my senior year of high school. My friend broke up with her boyfriend of 6 months about a month ago. Now that I'm working with this boy-maybe we can call him Jim-I'm starting to like him. He asked me to go to a movie this past weekend but I said no because I was so nervous and confused about what to do. There are no clear social rules about this but we can try to tease things apart and discuss some unwritten social rules and etiquette. After a month has passed I believe that you can consider dating him. If she is a close friend then I would suggest that you talk to her and let her know that you are considering dating her ex-boyfriend.
Maybe other girls wouldn't think it's a dilemma but to me it is. She didn't talk about it much but she seemed upset when it happened. I would like to go on a date with Jim but I don't want to upset my friend and I don't want other girls to get mad at me. I asked my mother and she said that I should write to you. There is, of course, no simple answer to your question about when and whether or not it is socially acceptable to date a friend's ex. If your friend and this young man broke up within the past week or so then I would suggest that it is too soon to start dating her ex-boyfriend. Second, how close a friendship do you have with this young woman?
It’s an “It’s not you, it’s me” situation, except it comes before any relationship has even happened.
Problem is, your feelings for him and what your relationship are just an illusion.
Two of my best friends have started dating each other and although I’m happy for them, I’m starting to feel like a third wheel whenever we hang out.
It’s so weird for me to see them together romantically because we’ve always been good friends.
In my experience, friends appreciate hearing directly from friends rather than learning sensitive information from others.