Everyone who isrelationship wants it to be successful – obviously. I am romantic in that I fall in love easily and believe every relationship I get into will last forever. On the practical side of things, I see what works in relationship and what doesn’t. It is definitely a vulnerable place especially if you are not sure whether the other person feels as you do.There are countless books, courses and movies about how to have a beautiful and everlasting relationship. So, without further delay, here are the 7 secrets I have discovered. Being in love opens your heart and provides experiences that are only possible from this state. Fortunately, with a little bit of regular maintenance, love can be nurtured and mature like a fine wine growing richer and more robust with age. Over time, it is easy to get caught up with work, children, and bills.
These secrets are not based on a book (yet) but are a distillation of my forty plus years of being in relationships – some short term, some long-term, some successful, and some not.
Mostly, they are a compilation of my learning distilled from my current relationship which has lasted sixteen years.
When asked to describe the state of their relationship, those with a high level of rigidity in habits and thinking — that is, a resistance to new things, new ideas, and changes of any sort — named 38 percent more problems in their relationship than those who were more flexible in their thinking.
[Studies find that those who have experienced a significant disappointment from their partner and have successfully granted their forgiveness to their partner are as likely to maintain a satisfying relationship as are those who had never experienced a similar disappointment in their relationship.
“With online dating there’s just so many more options than ever before so I think sometimes people aren’t giving each other enough chances.”“What’s most important is taking it away from [the place of introduction] and really dating.
What matters is being really open, being available, making sure anything in your past is not affecting your ability to be present now, and making sure you’re going on great dates and continuing to build on whatever date you had before,” she added. If you have realistic expectations, you know dating is going to be a roller coaster.If you feel like you’re prone to the latter, Dack said introspection is the key.“Spend time really understanding your patterns and getting to know yourself better and making sure you’re really self-aware so that you have a sense of why you’re repeating patterns … I didn't want to be casual about the relationship nor take it for granted. To put it simply, philosopher Paul Tillich observed, "Any deep relationship to another human being requires watchfulness and nourishment."So listen up: Here are the 10 secrets of highly successful couples:1. Former Beatle Ringo Starr has been married to his wife Barbara for more than three decades. There are less down days than up, and we get on really well. When two people live together, they are bound to have differences of opinion and disagreements. Over lunch with a friend one day, Kevin was asked about the "secret of your obviously happy and healthy love relationship."Kevin responded, "I married a wonderful woman and made the commitment to apply myself to the relationship with the same energy that I place into other important areas of my life: school, work, health, friendships. I can't imagine being without her."Highly successful couples like Kevin and his wife know that making the relationship a top priority is vital. They know the ingredients that are necessary to keep each other content, happy, healthy and satisfied. They like to be together, talk together, do things together. Successful couples fight skillfully."In conflict, be fair and generous," is wisdom from The Tao.They have worked for me and I hope they work for you.◊♦◊Falling in love feels great . Whether it is increased productivity, creativity, or a sense of wonder at the universe, being in love heightens the senses and makes for an enhanced experience of life and your lover. In arranged marriages love is a product of shared goals, intentions, hopes, respect, and a willingness to learn about the person you are sharing your life with. This is not an impossible task as long as both participants are willing. It is easy to forget to take the time and do the actions and act the way that made the relationship work in the first place.